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“How bad is it?” When someone I am just meeting finds out I have a son with autism I sometimes get this question. Am I offended? Yes. And they shouldn’t phrase it this way, but here is what I believe folks are really asking: “Is he one of those people with autism like the guy in the show The Good Doctor?” They basically want to hear that he is pretty much normal, but has these really cool splinter skills. I have learned to say that my son has “Profound Autism.” My boy is incredibly special, but he will not be...

I was in attendance at an autism conference where the presenter, the father of a son with autism, asked this question: “If you had a magic wand that could be waved and eliminate your child’s autism - would you wave it?” My immediate thought was “Hell yes!” and then I had an overwhelming feeling of guilt, like if I was a good mom I should simply be happy for the way my son IS and embrace his disability as a gift. But in the next sentence the presenter agreed and said, “Of course you would.” OK, I felt less guilty....

BRAVE     Marston puts my parenting on center stage every time we go somewhere.  He has unusual behaviors and vocalizations.  He often startles people.  People look to to me to see “what I’ll do about it.”  It’s uncomfortable, it’s hard, and it sucks, but I DO IT ANYWAY.   My son deserves to live out in the world with everyone else.  And truly, I do think people admire me.   Sometimes, though, I really don’t want to be this ambassador.  I want to just blend into the scenery.  But I have been given a different role.  It is to...

If you have a child with special needs, forget your privacy.    It doesn’t take you long to discover that in order to have sanity and any sliver of a “normal” life that you need outside help.  Marston has been receiving in-home support services since the age of three.  We have been blessed to have a beautiful, long list of individuals that have worked with Marston over the years.   These people have my whole heart.  They will never, ever know the immense love and gratitude I have for them.  Many of them have been people that were wise beyond...

“It’s FREE!”   When I worked as a cashier as a teenager in high school I noticed something annoying.  If there was no price tag on an item ultimately the customer would say, “It’s FREE!”  The customer would then laugh at the joke, like no one had ever thought to say that before.  Well I am here to tell you, EVERYONE said it!   In my world raising a son with severe special needs there is a question I get that is similar to the “It’s FREE!” comment.  It is the question that starts with, “Have you tried…”  I understand...